Dear lady at the women’s clinic from my appointment this afternoon:

Thank you so much for the huge lunch sack full of condoms you gave me today. Honestly, I thought you had just put a box of them in the bag and taped them up discreetly for me. However, upon arriving at my home and opening the bag, I saw that you had packed tons and tons of them in there.

I feel confident saying that I came home with probably 200 condoms today. Thanks a bunch, again. 

P.S. How did you know I was a durex girl? Was it the red lipstick? I feel like you know me so well already. See you in six months! 

With love,

Jizzbot.